Most parents say that their kids grow up too fast. I hadn't agreed with this statement until just days ago. The first couple months of Jack's life felt like an eternity to me. Even now, I can barely remember being pregnant. Sometimes I don't even believe I was pregnant except for the fact that I A) have a child and B) don't fit into my favorite jeans. Anyway, Jack's newborn stage was hard for me. I loved him with my whole heart, however bonding took some time. It's probably normal to feel that way since the first few months are give, give, give. As days and weeks went by and the routine started to feel comfortable and baby milestones started to take place, I began to grow more and more love. As he grew, I stopped counting the weeks and started tallying the months. He smiled, he laughed, he began to laugh so hard that he heaved. He began to use his hands. He started to reach out for toys. He started to reach out for my face. The love that I had for him in the beginning was only contained within my heart, but now it is my whole being. The love I have for my son, the same love that any caring parent has for their child, has taught me about God's love. (More on that later).
So now, at seven months old, time has started to fly. I mean I can literally watch Jack growing out of his clothes. The milestones are no longer weeks apart, they are days apart. My baby is looking more and more like a boy each day. And what seems like a while off will get here too quickly and I'll stop counting months and start counting years (and my own gray hairs).
2 comments:
My baby's only a month old and I can hardly remember being pregnant either. Though I don't feel "normal" yet either. I'm in that in-between-absolutely-nothing-fits-the-same stage.
It's amazing how being a mother changes your perspective on your own parents and God's love. And we are imperfectly loving and it's already wonderful. How much more are we loved? I'm so grateful to be a mother, even though I now find myself a single mother. I never would have guessed what future lay ahead of me but I am grateful for all my trials because it has shown me how much God has been able to help and love me through all of that.
I think first time motherhood is pretty rough. There are rough things about #2 and #3 too, but it's different with your first. So overwhelming, physically and emotionally taxing. And I too loved my first at first but really had a hard go of it. Then I REALLY loved him. Probably there are some more layers of love we'll get to wear as they (well, WE) grow.
You're obviously doing a great job. You're just sort of thrown into being a parent all at once, and then you're always Mom in addition to whatever else you are. Good job Momma! Just wait till he can say "I love you."
Ahhh. So cute. I love love love (have I mentioned love?) that our boys are one day apart.
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